Several years ago a beloved Siamese cat of mine was ripped to shreds in my garden by some stray dogs. That day I had to drive my in-laws to a Doctors appointment, of course I couldn’t stop crying. When I told them what had happened my mother in law said, it was just a cat and to get over it.
The other day I did a reading for a young woman who’s boyfriend of 4 years died of natural causes. They had planned a life together, and now her life has disappeared. The world will never give her the respect of a grieving widow. She will not have his Social Security, she will not be able to have her address as Mrs, …all this to cope with at the age of 19. I hope she never experiences anyone saying cruel words like: after all he was just your boyfriend, you’ll bounce back.
No one can know or really has the right to judge the experience of another in grief.
- Chapter Sampler
- Chapter 1, Definitions of Death
- Chapter 2, Self Realization
- Chapter 3, Approaching Death
- Chapter 4, Crossing Over
- Chapter 5, The Newly Deceased
- Chapter 6, Near Earth Deceased
- Chapter 7, Moving On
- Chapter 8, Individual Work
- Chapter 9, Prior Life Completion
- Chapter 10, The Threshold of Choice
- Chapter 11, Inter Lifetime
- Chapter 12, Ascension
- Chapter 13, Descended Deceased
- Chapter 14, Soul Rescue
- Chapter 15, The Faces of Angels
- Front Cover
- Back Cover
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6 Responses to “It was not “just” a cat”
I am including my website this time. Thank you
Hi, Gretchen,
I just found your website. I look forward to reading your book.
I lost my beloved tuxedo kitty, Cindy, over two years ago. Our bond was so incredibly special and close that to this day describing it as such does not do it justice. She remains in my heart and thoughts every single day and I pray when I go Home I get to be with her forever.
Like you, I received insensitive comments at the time from my sister regarding my reaction to Cindy’s death. It hurts that people can be so ignorant and hurtful, but I have to take it from where it comes. Not everyone we meet can (or will ever) understand the grief that the loss of a pet brings. For some, it takes the loss of their own pet for them to “get it” or remember how painful and significant this loss is. For others, they were, perhaps, never animal-lover’s to begin with, so…
My point is, no beloved animal is “just” an animal. I made that mistake in thinking when my Cindy died and I unfairly compared her to my other cat, Gizzy. I wasn’t as close to Gizzy as I was Cindy, and had some resentments because Gizzy could be mean to her “sister”, but in time I realized that although my bond with Gizzy was different from Cindy’s, it was no less important. Every relationship with our pets is unique in its own way and must be cherished and respected. To say an animal is “just” an animal, is to negate all that they bring to us in the form of love and companionship. In fact, imo, their loss ranks right up there with the loss of a person–and then some. Because only an animal truly knows how to love unconditionally, fully and completely.
Dear Gretchen,
I have read through your blog tonight and this post touches me deeply.
I feel deeply for the youg woman having lost her boyfriend and I hope she has found solace and joy in the contact with him through you. I have experienced a similar loss without any rights: I have lost my life partner last summer unexpectedly while he was abroad and because we were not married I was denied by his family to see him a last time and touch his face in love and say good bye to him and I did not attend his funeral, though they knew how deeply we loved each other. The unexpected positive result of having been denied a last contact in this world was that I realised that the important things happen within our hearts and minds. It helped me to focus on the essence of our relationship and this was not a tomb or a funeral but what we share as souls.
Something to say?
That was well said. Of course, people don’t make comments like that because it was “just a cat.” It’s people who are afraid of or uncomfortable with emotions, that are unable to have a true exchange with another on a sincere emotional level, that make statements like that. Truth be known, she probably has something plaguing her heart and never found a way to deal with. She is hurting more inside more than most. I am truly sorry about your cat. Pets are members of the family as far as I’m concerned. Thank you for you post.
Left by Mary on March 31st, 2009