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Experiences with beloved deceased

The deceased we love show us that they still exist in many ways. Electronics are easy for the deceased to manipulate, for example, lights and telephones. Many people are finding coins that have some significance in relation to their deceased loved ones. Maybe it is the economy but coin finding is becoming more common. Butterflies or birds that hover or follow may be a message for the deceased if they had a connection or affinity for that species. The deceased can enhance the blooms of a favorite flower or bush, and we may smell their perfume, pipe smoke or a baked good that reminds us of them when there is no reason that this olfactory cue would be present, for example, smelling apple pie in the car. And lastly we are with our beloved deceased in dream state and sometimes we remember these dreams. While not all dreams we have about the deceased are visits if there is an unforgettable quality to the dream, or if the dream changes the way we feel, we may well have been with them. I have a friend who’s mother draws hearts in the steam of her shower curtain, she used to hide a heart in her paintings. What are your stories, what are the experiences you’ve had that you might like validation for?

Posted by Gretchen on Thursday, June 19th, 2008 at 5:54 pm.

19 Responses to “Experiences with beloved deceased”

I find it very interesting that these small cues can set off such an overwhelming rememberance of a past loved one. We all have experienced deja vu, does that intertwine at all into how these cues stir up these enhanced senses or triggers? Very powerful stuff.

Left by Ben Adams on June 30th, 2008

Thanks Ben,
When the deceased contact us it is in real time, so although the experience may evoke a memory, the deceased are right there with us trying to communicate.
Gretchen

Left by admin on July 13th, 2008

Gretchen, 25 years ago, when I was 5 months pregnant with my firstborn child, my sweet father passed away from a massive heart attack. It was a hot day, the 12th of August, 1982. My husband actually took the call because I was in the shower after weeding my garden. When he told me that my dad was en route to the hospital, I cried and pleaded with my grandmother not to take him (as if she could..he was her life when she was alive). Two months after his passing, I dreamt that he was sitting on my neighbors steps visible from my kitchen window and even though it was a cold autumn day, there he was in his khaki pants and white T shirt..his sailing clothes. When I saw him, I ran outside and he told me that everything was going to be alright, and I shouldn’t be worried at all. I wanted him to stay, but he said he had to go. My daughter was born on nov. 4th and my dads 56th birthday would’ve been the 6th of nov. To this day, my daughter still says that she felt him before she was born and always thinks they passed each other somehow. She has always felt a strong connection with him. I do believe her..and I believe my dad came to me. I have also done meditations where people dressed in bright white robes with white hair and blue eyes have appeared to me. I was asking to see my grandparents and my father, and although they didn’t resemble them, I think thats who they were. The message they gave was not to judge everything by it’s cover. What do you think about all of this?

Left by Ann on August 5th, 2008

Gretchen, hello again. I just wanted to let you know that out of the blue my oldest brother John recently e-mailed me to ask me if I was interested in reading a good book. I really had no idea that he knew I was interested in your type of work, and yet, there was his e-mail offering to lend me your book. I’m so glad he did. I appreciate what you do.

Left by Ann on August 5th, 2008

Ann,
Thanks for your posts. Your dream sounds like it was real time communication with/from your father, especially as his clothing was so distinct to you. It is so easy for deceased loved ones to reach us in dream state but often we don’t remember. How wonderful for your daughter that she has your father – no doubt- as one of her guardian angels or guides. As much as we miss them it is also good to have loved ones watching over us. We do incarnate in groups in order to help each other accomplish our soul’s learning. You are all connected and remain connected.
The angelic presentations do not seem like communications from beloved ancestors. It is much more common for them to move/change/enhance something in physical that will have specific meaning to us in relationship to a memory of them. We also need to be careful not to open ourself up to just anything/anyone in meditation as there are so many earthbound disincarnates who prey on our energy and so trust your gut, if it feels like the tone or essence of a loved one comes, it may well be a visit, if it doesn’t feel right or makes you feel un-centered after- it is not a valid communication.
My very best wishes to you and your brother and I’m sad that you have so much of life here without your father here in physical with you.
Gretchen

Left by admin on August 6th, 2008

Gretchen, thank you so much for your response. I truly respect your input. Thank you for validating what I already knew..that I was lucky enough to get a visit from my dad. As far as the meditation goes, I always cover myself with Christ light before going in, but you’re right..these 3 beings didn’t feel evil or bad in any way, but they didn’t feel like ancestors at all. I was freaked after the fact, but not fearful. Thank you again. You are awesome. A

Left by Ann on August 6th, 2008

My 10 yr. old daughter just told me that she has been having visits from her great-grandmother in her dreams.
She said she lays beside her in the bed and tells her that she misses everybody and she is watching over them. She was visibly upset last night,she cried the entire time that she was telling us. she said it scares her. I told her that the next time she had a visit, to let g-mother know that she was scared. This morning she told me that g-mother told her last night that it was Ok, she was just protecting her. Is this normal? I thought she might be making it up, but she was so vivid in her details. What is your opinion.

Left by Teresa on October 3rd, 2008

Dear Teresa,
I’m glad you wrote as your mother’s instinct is correct- this is NOT GOOD. Any deceased that frightens a child is either not who they are representing themselves to be or don’t have the child’s best interest at heart. Even if this is her g-grandmother the deceased need to respect the living and who ever this is – she should be dis-invited and some protection in energy should be used each night for your daughter for a while. If you have spiritual beliefs certainly pray with your daughter before she goes to sleep. Ask that the white light of God’s love fill the room. Then ask for her own angels to shield her. After clearing the whole house or apartment with white light ask for a cone of silver energy to cover your living space. I use energy bombs to clear my space and imaginary walls of ice when I know where the direction of the harm is coming from. I call this spiritual hygiene. Let me know if this helps!
Best Wishes,
Gretchen

Left by admin on October 6th, 2008

Hello,
I never dreamed of my husband while he was alive. Then almost a year and a half after his death I started dreaming about him. The first dream scared me so that I sat bolt upright in bed and screamed “he is here”. I do not remember anything else about the dream but I felt a presence standing by my bed just before I awoke. Now when I dream of him it is usually about us doing or getting ready to do something together like travelling, making lists, packing, etc. I was actually afraid of my husband at times when he was alive so I guess that fear came through in that first dream.

Left by Jerre Miller on October 25th, 2009

Dear Jerre,
I work with many people in grief and dreaming is so much a part of processing the loss. In my experience, most dreams that people have are not encounters with the deceased, just this processing. For example, some people feel tremendous guilt about things not said or done before time ran out, so they will have dreams about trying to resolve this unfinished business.
It is possible to have a dream that is a visit, but they have a rare quality to them, you are right, you are just processing your loss, and maybe thinking that if things had been different between you two you might have made other plans. thanks,
Gretchen

Left by Gretchen on October 25th, 2009

Hi, my husband passed away 2 years ago. I have for several months now had a recurring dream. He usually doesn’t speak but the message always comes out the same & it is that he leaves me. In one dream he left me at the alter. In another one he told me to wait for him in this room, I was there for hours but he had left. Many different variations of the same dream but in the end he always leaves me. My husband & I had a great marriage. Is he telling me to move on?

Left by Beverly on November 29th, 2009

Dear Beverly,
My heart goes out to you for your loss and I also admire your courage to have lived through the last two years. Grief is different for everyone, but it is a hard process no matter how well we try to cope.
If you had these dreams right after your husband died I would have interpreted them differently. But now he may be ready to cross the earth portal- that transition that the deceased tell me feels more like death than physical death. The earth portal is where the densest of our energy bodies are left, we are more energized after this transition, yet the things of the earth affect us less after this transition. It moves us away from the close proximity to the earth. It is a big step. This is the light on the TV show the Ghost Whisperer. This is not to say that your husband has ever been a ghost, many deceased people chose to stay close to familiar people and places for prolonged periods of time. This is entirely his choice.
Would it make sense that he wants to give you some space at this time, encouraging you, going forward with the rest of your life and learning here in this manifestation? Your heart is the only person that knows this, but it does not mean that he is leaving you, as in energy we can always bridge the gap to each other no matter how “far” we are away in energy. So he will still be a guide to the person/people he loves here, he will still be aware of us when we think of him. But he may now wish to be moving on with his own learning and and advancement. It also does not mean that he would not be able to greet you when you die.
Meditate or pray and wish him freedom when you send him your love now, see if your dreams change.
My best wishes,
Gretchen

Left by Gretchen on November 30th, 2009

Hi Gretchen. I have been reading your blog, as well as your book, with great facination and so much of it resonates for me. My husband passed almost 11 weeks ago. Since then he has given me numerous messages and comunicated with me in many ways; electroniclaly, by writing, leaving signiifcant things for me to find and through music, and thoughts. I find these communications most comforting and also that when they happen they help me feel more in tune with this process, not so alone and help my healing, though this is all still so new and raw.
I was wondering if there is a point at which the deceased stop communicating with us, or when and if there are times- in their and our process- that they would more often commuincate with us or be more likely to do so. In your book you write of feelings becoming less strong after the deceased move on. Do they still want to commuincate with us down here then after that or as they go further into tehir after life experiences? Is there a reason for them to if they don’t feel as much as they did before or in the same way?Are they still interested in us and watching over us? In your experience how does that evolve?
I have heard of people having communications, dreams, and such many years after their loved onces have passed, but I am wondering as our loved onces reach different stages in the after life if that changes. And thank you so much in advance for your answer.

Left by Barbara on March 19th, 2010

Dear Barbara,
We have already been in touch, but I do want to answer your questions as best I can from my experience and study. Everyone is different, there are no rules. I could give you SO many examples of how other deceased people respond with living spouses, but that wouldn’t mean that any of these scenarios would be yours and your husband’s.
You may feel your husband constant and present for the rest of your life, you may feel him standing next to you, you may even channel him and let him look through your eyes at someone he loves, listen to music with your ears. He may give you space if you need it or ask him for space and he may hang so close that he is in your breath if you want him that close. He may sleep beside you each night and watch over the ones he loves each day. I think a lot has to do with our recognition of them and our desire to have them close to us.
In the newness of his experience I would guess that he is still close. His energy will be that of his best day ever when he was encased in this matter we call the physical body. This is not to say that he cannot see clearly the things in his life that he wishes he could have done differently, but the deceased are helped to an honest self evaluation by predeceased lived ones and spirit guides- the same guides as we are in life if we are open to them.
The deceased certainly have things they can do away from us, as many of the healing modalities they participate can absorb their attention for periods of time. Time is of no importance to them, and eventually they will move on to meaningful work, whether it is before you join him in spirit or not. I cannot say what he will do, but when they prepare to transit the earth portal or the tunnel as it is called often there can be that years after kind of manifestations of them- the out of the blue communications.
Also when the deceased leave the close proximity of the earth it does not mean that they are not still aware of what their loved ones are doing, and every time we think of them they hear us. After my Mom died I was mentally calling her name rather loudly for her, she asked me to tone it down, my calls were disturbing to her. They can hear all of our conversational thoughts about them…even the ones when we are angry that they left us here to cope.
So there is never a time when a deceased loved one would stop communicating with us if we asked for them, unless they are in pre-birth focus, or in a deeply involving healing modality. The healing phases are temporary, and the pre birth focus would not be likely to happen in your lifetime.
I am pleased that you are aware of his messages and acknowledge them. I pray that they are helping you in your grief.
What you can be absolutely certain of is your husbands feelings for the loved ones he left here are more clear, more profound and uninhibited emotionally. Savor the knowledge of his love, savor the feeling of it, the certainty of it, and his pleasure at your realization of his communications with you. Your choices will determine the relationship you have going forward- more than he will, in spirit we are more free to love than when wrapped up in life’s concerns. He will follow your lead, consider your needs and your wishes for ongoing communication to the best of his ability.
I’m sorry for your loss and the delay in responding to this,
Gretchen

Left by Gretchen on March 23rd, 2010

Gretchen,
Thank you so much for such a thorough and also compassionate answer to my questions. Your answer has encouraged me to go on feeling and letting in what I have been experiencing and what I have been believing is really there and happening around me in ways that are unexpected but that keep on unfolding in an amazing way. It also gives me the comfort of knowing that this interactive experience with spirit can keep on adding a whole new loving dimension to my life- that things are not over- just different than before. Thank you again. Much loving energy being sent your way.

Left by Barbara on March 25th, 2010

Hi Gretchen:
About 15 years ago my husband was murdered. I was shattered as we only were married for 2 years. After 3 years I had a dream and he told me to stop crying and that he was happy, having a good time.
3 months ago, I lost my companion of 4 years tragically. His death left a void in me and a lot of unanswered questions as our relationship was rocky to say the least in the the year preceding his death and upon his death many disturbing things came to ligth about his life in the past year. So far I had 3 dreams of him and he doesn’t look happy. In 2 of the dreams he is holding on to me and the recurrent conversation of those dreams are basically the same: he needs to talk to me, he needs to clarify some things.
I am lost to say the least. For the past 3 months I’ve been reading a lot about angels, conversation with the dead, Karma and reincarnation trying to make some sense out of everything that is happening but I still feel that I am not there yet.
Do you think that it was him talking to me in my dreams? Should I probe further to know what exactly he is trying to tell me? How would I go about knowing what he is trying to tell me?

Left by Betty on March 29th, 2010

Dear Betty,
I’m sorry for my delayed response, I have been traveling, and sad that people you loved have transitioned out of physical
Most deceased function well, as you may know from reading my book. However we are still as responsible for our self, responsible for our experience as we were in life.
Your husband’s communication to you that he is happy is a typical and frequent consolation that we are sometimes blessed with.
Your companion that you more recently lost may have been on a much different learning path than you are- we are all on different learning paths here. If your companion now, through the help of his guides, teachers and helpers, has regrets that he is trying to communicate to or through you that would also make sense. He may be wishing to clarify something, not necessarily with you, but about some action that he now has accumulated a karmic debt about. He may know that you are receptive to his communications, while the person that he harmed in his physical life is not receptive to him. The deceased try to reach through the living that are aware of them. So what he needs to talk about with you may or may not have to do with you.
I guess my question to you is how responsible do you feel toward your deceased companion? Ask to know, from your own guides or inner wisdom if this is something you wish or need to pursue for him or not. Be assured that he will work this out eventually, either between lives or in the next incarnation. You cannot spare him his karmic debt, but on the other hand this may be something you wish to do with a medium. I would try to sort out what might compel you to follow up on the companion with a medium might be unfinished grief work you may not have accomplished for your murdered husband versus spiritual responsibility you may feel for your companion. Actually you cannot take spiritual responsibility for anyone else, either living or dead, everyone has to be self responsible, but we do attempt to aid each other toward their own learning goal.
For me it really comes down to how you feel about connecting with the energy of your companion, try to feel within your heart if you want to connect with him or not.
please keep in touch and best wishes,
Gretchen

Left by Gretchen on April 9th, 2010

Hi,
It’s been several yrs since the loss of my husband.He had been ill for many, many years and for the past couple of years I’ve been having reoccurring dreams.He comes to me as if he were only gone temporarily (staying at his moms) and never deceased. He died in my arms and knowing all he had gone through I knew I was always there for him and loved, cared for him unconditionally. I was at peace. However, during his illness, his family distanced themselved from us and didn’t take part in our lives. My husband once told me he would never want me to remarry. Recently, I’ve become involved with someone and I’m trying to figure out what these reoccuring dreams mean. I wake up crying and feeling guilty that I’m moving on. By the way, these dreams began before I was ever involved with my boyfriend. What are your thoughts?

Left by Patty on April 19th, 2010

Dear P,
I commend you on your journey in this lifetime, loving and being a caregiver and hanging in with a very hard and very sad process, wow, I am awed. I know that place of no regrets that is a place of peace within our grief.
Anyway I feel your dreams are your own thoughts. Many dreams we have are our own processing of the trauma of his death.
A wonderful thing happens with most of us when we transition into the world of spirit, we have the opportunity to heal completely from life’s problems and misconceptions. No doubt your husband is healed and knows that love is the only thing that matters, unconditional love that offers freedom to those we love. If you have found love again in this life I am happy for you and I have never met a healed deceased person that did not want the best for their loved one here on earth. I can’t speak for him, but I know the perspective that the deceased come to and in all likelihood he would want only the best for you here.
best wishes,
Gretchen

Left by Gretchen on April 20th, 2010

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