“If you’re never going to die, you don’t need this book”

Grief can take you to dark places, places where you don’t love God, places where you don’t love yourself. Recently a 5 year old horse that was born in my barn, that I bottle fed as his mother didn’t have milk, that I carefully trained- letting him tell me when he was ready for the next step, a horse so cuddly I could touch him anywhere and he would do anything for me- died. Ollie was my boy, my redemption for a lot of hardships in my life, he was my joy, like a big sweet not too smart dog. If losing Ollie was a spiritual test I feel I passed the test, not going under into an old world of darkness within my soul. I went from yelling at God that if he took this one I would never speak to Him again, to saying, not my will but Thine be done. I am in grief but I am still in love with God, and did not let old dark habits take me under.

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